Taking an Honest Look at Your Relationship
- Are you are feeling emotionally drained from frequent conflict?
- Are you finding that even the smallest issues easily turn into major arguments?
- Are you avoiding interacting with your partner entirely because you feel more resentment than love?
- Perhaps you and your partner have grown so distant that you feel like two strangers passing in the night with no tangible sense of why you began the relationship in the first place?
- Or, maybe you are trying to recover after you or your partner had an affair?
If you answered, “Yes” to any of these, it may be time to consider marriage and couples counseling.
Relationships can be hard, but don’t give up. There is help
Whether you’ve just begun a relationship, or you’ve been married for many years, it’s important to know that relationships don’t have to always be difficult! In fact, they can and should be a wonderful source of inspiration and positive growth. However, it can take some focused time and energy to get there. If you find yourself struggling with your partner more then you feel supported by them, it’s time to get some support and consider couples counseling.
Couples counseling offers the unique opportunity for each partner to share openly in a safe environment what may have been difficult to communicate at home. The most common complaint I hear is that “He/she doesn’t listen to me.” or “I don’t feel heard.” It is quite common for tensions to get so high that neither individual can hear the other because everything sounds like an attack.
It is truly amazing what having a compassionate and skilled third party, such as a counselor, can do for communication. In counseling again and again I see couples move from a place of anger, isolation, confusion and pain into genuine understanding and love. Even if your relationship has suffered greatly there is always an opportunity for healing.
If You and Your Partner Are Unsatisfied, You’re Not Alone…
Many people end up in relationships that have not lived up to their expectations<, and as a result feel stuck and unsatisfying. Many life stressors contribute to distance in relationships, and couples are often left feeling hopeless, inadequate, or resigned to having an unfulfilling partnership. This dissatisfaction can easily turn into anger and resentment towards a partner. Much of the time the relationship is not so awful that one partner decides to leave, however, attempts to resolve issues lead to more and more conflict. This can turn into a vicious cycle where relationships become paralyzed and stagnant.
With Marriage and Couples Counseling Things Can Get MUCH Better…
Fortunately, you don’t have to settle for a distant, painful, or unfulfilling partnership. With the help and support of a counselor you can:
- Resolve current conflict & past resentments
- Re-establish connection and joy in your relationship
- Learn to listen and feel heard
- Build a passionate and fulfilling sex life
- Create an intimacy filled with affection and trust
How do I know this will work after everything we’ve already tried?
After finding little relief from prior couples counseling, reading books, and even attending workshops, many couples feel hesitant to enter into therapy. It does take a little faith and trust to get up and try again. However, what I find is that if the couple and therapist are a good fit, then within the first few counseling sessions couples begin to experience a tangible shift and thus a sense of hope that their relationship can in fact change for the better.
What if our disagreements don’t seem to be resolvable?
It is understandable that you might feel this way since every attempt (thus far) to resolve the conflicts with your partner haven’t been very productive. Many of the couples I have worked with initially felt this same way and had very little hope. However, what these couples found early on in counseling (some after the very first visit) was that their problems were in fact NOT insurmountable. And they then became quite hopeful and encouraged that this process would be successful.
This sounds like a lot of work. I’m not sure I have the energy to do it.
It is not surprising that you might feel this way. Couples who are struggling in their relationship rarely have any leftover emotional energy to put back to their relationship. After all, they have gone down MANY unproductive roads in an attempt to resolve their problems and things either didn’t change or even became worse. What I try to promote early on in couples counseling is a sense of renewed hope, an experience that will quickly energized both individuals to work toward a positive goal that now feels tangible. A taste of success in partnership motivates couples to to stick with it through the tough parts, until their relationship again has a sense of ease and love.
How do I know you’ll be the right choice for us?
You won’t know 100% until we meet for our initial session. Current research tells us that the absolute best predictor of success in therapy is the quality of the relationship between the therapist and client(s). I suggest that couples meet with me for an initial consultation to see if I might be a good fit for you.
A Call To Action: Couples Counseling
I encourage you to act now and set up your initial appointment. Don’t wait for things to continue to spiral downward. The worst that can happen is that you don’t find counseling helpful, the best that can happen is that you and your partner are able to experience growth and healing and become nourished by the relationship, instead of drained.
Also, please go ahead and take the Relationship Satisfaction Assessment, to help you get a sense of where things are at for you in your relationship right now.
Please contact me to schedule your initial consultation. Your first appointment is 100% risk free, meaning that you have the opportunity to see if I am a good fit for you as a psychotherapist. If you choose not to continue you will not be billed for your consultation. I also welcome any questions or concerns.